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01.16.05
Red Meat

I do not consider myself a vegetarian. There are all levels of “vegan” eating, but I do eat fish on a daily basis so I don’t consider myself a true vegetarian. So when news arrived on Thursday that my white blood cell level count was low, it made me sad. I knew the medicines I had been taking daily were there to protect my cellular blood levels and speed the process of production within my bone marrow, but knowing I had to continue taking them, a shot nightly, got me down. I was hoping for a week’s break of being pricked. After talking to a friend who had to go through a whole year of chemo, I learned I could help bolster my marrow production by including red meat, especially marrow from an animal or their organs. I have never eaten an organ before and nor will I, but I will eat red meat if that means I might go without the nightly prick of a needle. At this moment I am very susceptible to people and their diseases, tiring easily and in need of rest, but my spoiled self wants to go all day. I want to be somehow normal. My mood depends on that thought. Not only that, but I wanted to believe my good health coming into this was going to play a greater role. I guess it has nothing to do with my health and how well my white blood cells reproduce and protect prior to chemo. It’s rather the here and now. One day it’s sunny numbers up, and the next dreary down. And you never know from week to week what end those numbers will turn up. It’s like a crap-shoot, worse than Vegas. At least in Vegas you can bet on the odds.

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